Prostate cancer may be the second deadliest cancer for men, but a diagnosis is not necessarily a death sentence. In fact, as a slow-growing type of cancer, if it is diagnosed early enough, prostate cancer treatment has excellent survival rates.
Regardless, it is the “C” word, one that will inevitably change your loved one’s life as well as yours. Battling the disease is difficult for a prostate cancer patient to do alone. Consistent, caring, and loving support from you and those around him will give him the strength and right frame of mind to carry on despite the challenges.
At the Prostate Cancer Institute of Los Angeles, we know what both prostate cancer patients and their loved ones are dealing with. We are committed to providing not only the best treatment for your loved one, but also the best cancer support for you both.
Supporting a Loved One With Prostate Cancer
Understand What He’s Dealing With
The prostate is an important gland in a man’s reproductive system. It regulates control of the bladder and plays a crucial role in keeping his sperm healthy. Cancer of the prostate can be a psychological blow because of its nature and its relationship with sexual health.
Take time to understand the emotional impact of this disease on your partner. He’ll need your strength and understanding through this time.
Support Means Knowing You Can’t “Cure” Him
As a friend or loved one of a prostate cancer patient, you may find that much of the situation is out of your control. It’s easy to get frustrated because you cannot solve his problem, cure his cancer, relieve his pain (physically), or do much else. As a result, you can get down or depressed at how much you can’t do.
Let go of the need to solve his problem or “cure” him. It’s not your duty. The longer you put pressure on yourself to provide everything he needs, the harder it will be to truly support him and really be helpful. It will help him know that you’re committed to the process.
Active Cancer Awareness
Go with your loved one to doctor’s appointments. Ask his doctor questions. Don’t be shy about sharing your opinions on prostate cancer treatment options. The more active you are with your input, the more comfortable you both will be.
Furthermore, a surprising bond often develops when going through this together because he won’t feel that he’s alone. Believe it or not, your partner will relish having this support even if it isn’t always apparent.
Maintain an Even Emotional Keel
If your partner is suffering from chronic pain or even if he’s just not sharing much about his feelings, try not to take things personally. It’s often hard for a patient to talk about his condition because he feels ashamed or depressed, even inconsolable. This could cause him to lash out or react negatively to kindness or assistance, which can take a toll on you.
Make time for yourself. Sometimes, you’re going to need to recharge your batteries, so to speak, and a few hours with your friends at lunch or taking the time to relax and tend to your own emotional needs can make a huge difference for you both.
Join and Attend a Support Group
Support groups for both him and you – whether you go together or attend separate ones – can also have a huge impact. Talking to people about what you’re going through can help you release pent-up frustration. Listening to others who are dealing with similar, if not the exact same, issues can foster a sense of community and help you escape the feelings of being all alone.
A prostate cancer support group is available for the both of you, but there are also groups specifically designed for the prostate cancer patient himself.
Regular, Consistent Encouragement
It’s common for a cancer patient to withdraw from friends and family. In fact, he might withdraw from doing simple things with you, such as taking neighborhood walks or going for dinner or lunch.
Give him encouragement. Make it obvious that he can count on you for any type of support. Remind him that his children (or grandchildren) want to spend time with him and that it would be good for him, as well.
Above All, Communicate
The central theme of all recommended cancer support is communication. This includes the obvious, such as talking about the condition, asking questions about your loved one’s pain or needs, or discussing treatment options and lifestyle changes.
Communication also includes more subtle communication avenues, such as body language and intimate contact. Continue to kiss and hug him as you normally would. Talk about sex and intimacy; this might be the most vulnerable part of the process due to the nature and location of the tumor, so he might need you to initiate intimacy more than normal so that he knows you still desire him.
Feel free to discuss your intimacy needs and encourage him to do the same.
Contact the Prostate Specialists of Los Angeles
Prostate cancer can have a widespread impact, both on your loved one as well as on his family, friends, and relationships. Your support can make all the difference in how the disease will impact your partner, you, and those around you. To learn more about supporting your loved one throughout prostate gland cancer diagnosis and treatment, contact the Prostate Cancer Specialists of Los Angeles by calling (310) 341-2557.
Next, read our blog, When is the Right Time for a Prostate Cancer Biopsy?